Thursday, August 4, 2011

I am a writer.

Some days, the thoughts just flow out of my fingers, and it's just so easy, and it feels so good.

I've noticed that this often happens when I'm writing comments on other people's blogs -- that I can organize my own thoughts when I'm responding to theirs. That it's the conversation that gets me going. Writing can't just be about only the thoughts in my own head, after all. If that were the case, I might as well be talking to myself. I think that's what makes the blogging community such an inspirational force.

pluck

Other times, many times, I struggle. I stare at the blank page. I type words, I read over them, I delete.

Sometimes I write because I feel like I have to.

Molly posted some thoughts about writing today -- about how we do what we do, and avoid what we do, and feel better when we know others do and feel the same as we do -- and they really struck a chord with me. So much so that I started writing an email to her in response. And a paragraph or two in, I realized that I was doing it. I was finally writing what I've been wanting to get out for what seems like ages. I decided that in addition to sending her that email, I'd post it here, too. It might just be an email, but there are words on the page, and they're mine.

(You can read Molly's post here.)

raspberries

Thanks for writing this post, Molly, and for sharing your thoughts on writing. I was just thinking about my own writing yesterday, and if it's really what I'm supposed to be doing, since it's not really something I particularly want to do every day. My day job is to write content for clients every day, and I'm good at it, but it gets old sometimes. A lot of times. Lately, I'd much rather be holding a camera in my hands, letting my pictures speak for me, just staying silent in the background, with no words to put on the page. Does this mean that writing is just my work, but not really my passion? I almost came to the conclusion that I don't love writing.

But reading your post, and thinking about it more, makes me realize that writing is just a part of who I am, and always has been. There is no escaping that. It's what I do. It's what I know. It's why I keep a blog. It's why I collect journals and fill them with scribbles just to stay sane. And we don't always love everything about ourselves all the time, but that doesn't make it any less a part of who we are.

So I'll keep writing. Of course I'll keep writing. What was I thinking? I don't think I'm capable of stopping. It's what I do. It's who I am. And every so often, I have to remind myself that being a writer is all I've ever wanted to be, and now I can finally say that I am.

Thank you for helping me find those words.


Jacqui

10 comments:

  1. You most certainly are a writer. You are also, without question, the best and most gifted writer I know. I absolutely love when people ask me what my wife does, and I tell them "She's a writer". It's so great that it is your profession, but what I love even more is that it's also your hobby, your talent, and your passion. Keep writing! The world is a better place with your words filling it. <3

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  2. It struck a cord with me, too---so much so that I am still thinking about it. I like hearing about other writers' processes and experience. It's comforting to have that community.

    And seriously? I agree with Murdo: you are most certainly a writer. I love ready the things you say here and I feel blessed to get to read them.

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  3. Wow, Jacqui! This post is wonderful on so many levels. I don't always get over to Molly's blog and thank you for sharing the link. A beautiful post.

    I love your writing so much, Jacqui. It seems very effortless, but I know it's the kind of ease that comes with time and practice.

    How sweet is your husband's comment!!

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  4. I loved Molly's post, too—she started a worthy discussion that's even better now, thanks to your input. I don't think there's any writer, casual or professional, who doesn't struggle with these thoughts, but it's all to rare to hear them spoken aloud. Thanks for doing that.

    Also, I'm reading "Bird by Bird" right now, in addition to "The Artist's Way," and one or the other might be of comfort to you too.

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  5. M - Thank you, my love. You make me blush. xo

    Shanna - Yes, this community certainly helps. I'm glad to be a part of it. And thank you!

    Nicole - Thank you so much! I wish it really were that effortless, but I suppose nothing worth doing is easy all the time.

    Maddie - It's so good to talk about these things, and to write about them. One of the reasons I write is for relief, I think -- getting thoughts out there so they're not knocking around in my brain, driving me crazy. Thanks for you sweet comment, and I'll have to check both of those books out now!

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  6. love it :) i saw molly's post too, earlier today, and it really resonated with me - sometimes i don't have anything to write, sometimes i'm not sure how to phrase what i want, but i always feel better when i can make my thoughts come out clearly on the page. it's almost a relief. just found your blog, but thanks for sharing this - i'll definitely be back.

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  7. megcjones - I'm glad you stopped by! Writing is definitely a relief for me, which is why I kept journals for so long. Sometimes the words don't make sense, but just getting them out feels good.

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  8. Jacqui-duh, duh, duh. You are a fantastic writer. I realize I don't comment enough here, but I so enjoy reading your work. I agree with you that it's something we just keep doing...a tug. When you start to define it or figure it out, you'll just turn around in circles (especially when so many of us don't really get paid much for the writing we truly love to do).

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  9. just reposted & quoted you on my blog. thank you for the inspiration and encouragement. sometimes i feel the same way - you articulated my feelings perfectly!

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  10. Megan - Thank you so much. Sometimes the circles can get frustrating, but it's good to end up in a place that makes you happy. And yes, the journey is a constant tug.

    mbobm - You are so sweet! I'm glad you found my words encouraging. That's what I love about blogs -- inspiration around every turn. Thank you!

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