Some days, the thoughts just flow out of my fingers, and it's just so easy, and it feels so good.
I've noticed that this often happens when I'm writing comments on other people's blogs -- that I can organize my own thoughts when I'm responding to theirs. That it's the conversation that gets me going. Writing can't just be about only the thoughts in my own head, after all. If that were the case, I might as well be talking to myself. I think that's what makes the blogging community such an inspirational force.
Other times, many times, I struggle. I stare at the blank page. I type words, I read over them, I delete.
Sometimes I write because I feel like I have to.
Molly posted some thoughts about writing today -- about how we do what we do, and avoid what we do, and feel better when we know others do and feel the same as we do -- and they really struck a chord with me. So much so that I started writing an email to her in response. And a paragraph or two in, I realized that I was doing it. I was finally writing what I've been wanting to get out for what seems like ages. I decided that in addition to sending her that email, I'd post it here, too. It might just be an email, but there are words on the page, and they're mine.
(You can read Molly's post here.)
Thanks for writing this post, Molly, and for sharing your thoughts on writing. I was just thinking about my own writing yesterday, and if it's really what I'm supposed to be doing, since it's not really something I particularly want to do every day. My day job is to write content for clients every day, and I'm good at it, but it gets old sometimes. A lot of times. Lately, I'd much rather be holding a camera in my hands, letting my pictures speak for me, just staying silent in the background, with no words to put on the page. Does this mean that writing is just my work, but not really my passion? I almost came to the conclusion that I don't love writing.
But reading your post, and thinking about it more, makes me realize that writing is just a part of who I am, and always has been. There is no escaping that. It's what I do. It's what I know. It's why I keep a blog. It's why I collect journals and fill them with scribbles just to stay sane. And we don't always love everything about ourselves all the time, but that doesn't make it any less a part of who we are.
So I'll keep writing. Of course I'll keep writing. What was I thinking? I don't think I'm capable of stopping. It's what I do. It's who I am. And every so often, I have to remind myself that being a writer is all I've ever wanted to be, and now I can finally say that I am.
Thank you for helping me find those words.